It is good to hear you are ok. Please do feel free to join us. I must say tho, you do not sound like an outfielder to me. If I were to profile your posts, I would say you sound more like an infielder. But not a middle infielder, and not one of the corner infielders. You also do not come across as a pitcher. Perhaps you used to be a pitcher, or have pitched at some point in time, but I am getting vibes of trauma and some emotional scarring regarding your past, pitching experiences. I guess that would mean, you are most likely a catcher. Probably a darn good one, however there seems to be a need to be or act like someone else. Perhaps you are envious of a particular left-fielder. Perhaps he whupped you in a wrestling match, between games, at a tournament , at Fort Missoula a couple of years ago. I don't know, just guessing. Thanks for your posts. Please feel free to come out of your left field closet.